Crept

 

August

 We are in the middle of the year already.

So many things happened for these couple of months that I'm grateful of, alhamdulillah. It's like I would enter into another phase or chapter of my life. I could not wait to have this new adventure, a milestone of my career path, explore the new places and settle down there.

I'm super excited honestly, but also a bit scared. That's normal I think. Excited and scared of what would happened in the future. But of course, in life we always have this risky decision to make once in a while. 

The sad thing is I would be far away from my close friends and sisters. Definitely on my own there, and need to make new friends. My, that would be tiring haha.

Hopefully all would be well, inshaAllah.

Robot

Cov-Eid Mubarak!

Salam and hi :)

Hope it is not too late to wish Eid Mubarak! This year might not be the usual Eid celebration for everyone. Cannot crossover the states to celebrate it with family, cannot have so many people to come over, etc. But alhamdulillah, we able to abide it albeit reluctantly.

So for me, I celebrate it together with my lovely housemates. We already ordered lemang, ketupat, variety of rendangs haha, kuih raya.. I even made some puddings and yeah how surprise my housemates were when I conquered the kitchen hahaha.

We had solat raya together in the morning, listening to the khutbah (my housemate read it), though it was a bit hilarious when she came to the point of "Sidang jemaah yang.." because there were only three of us. Then we proceed to take pictures, and then family video call. Then eating non-stop lols. I even having an afternoon nap in my baju raya.

This would be a treasured memory for most of us, right? I love this year's ramadan too <3 

New Normal

17 Ramadan.

I think MCO is already ended. The one that we need to practice is the "new normal" which are the social distancing, avoid crowded places etc. Conditional MCO or CMCO.

Tak boleh balik kampung beraya. Sobs.

But I already made peace with myself for that. Sis is redha. You don't want to risk your parents and family if you unknowingly are the carrier of the virus. 

I think I feel slightly better experiencing MCO during Ramadan. I don't feel as restless and emotional as the first few weeks of MCO. Maybe I already adapting to it, and I can control my sleep cycle already. Recently I busied myself doing things during the day, and then have something to wait at the end of the day made me excited, that is iftar. And then performed tarawih together with my housemates. Video call with family sometimes after that. And doing the Daily Ramadan Challenge.

Last night my friend send me videos and pictures from a travelling vlog. And I said, "You know, even next year there would be no way for us to travel outside of the country." And we huhu-ed together. Even looking at travel pictures make me feel sad so much. And she was "Okay, jangan kahwin dalam masa 2 tahun ni ya." Hahahaha yes travel buddy!

This year would be the first time celebrating eid without family.

Aku pun Mencari

Sudahku kembara
Benua ke benua untuk memuisikan-Nya;

Dari pelayaran Bosphorus
Kuhulurkan tangan
Merasa kawanan buih yang berloncatan,
Masuk dari pintu ke pintu Masjid Biru,
Terus legaran dari biara ke biara Aya Sofea.
Dia tak ada.

Ku amati kincir-kincir angin Kinderdijk
Luas lembah dan ladang tulip
Hingga berjalan sepanjang lorong hangat
Penjaja dosa
Dalam kedinginan bumi Belanda.
Dia tak ada.

Di suram malam tak berkandil
Ku susuri sirah Musa
Menghirup teh panas sepanjang Nil
Meredah halus debu sepanjang batuan
Piramid dan Giza.
Dia tak ada.

Kemudian aku pulang ke Kaabah
Menanyakan orang-orang kalau
Terjumpa,
Lalu berkelana dan menyendiri di Nabawi.
Dia tak ada.

Aku pun mencari ke dalam diri,
Dia tak ke mana-mana.
Aku menemukan-Nya di sini
               — bukan dengan mata.

Mosyuki Borhan, Mengintai Hadrat
Antologi Prosa & Puisi: Hujan Bakawali di Rumah Tuhan (Jilid I)
Terbitan Ripta (@rumahripta)

Homesick

Being in isolation so long has been deteriorating my mental health. I have been thinking and overthinking about a lot of things. There's so many things that I want to say to someone that left unsaid. Ahh, my stubborn and egoistic self.

Sending my dua to you.

If I died tomorrow or anytime soon, I hope that someone close to me will keep me in their prayers too.

Letters to a Young Muslim & The Two Popes

So yesterday I finished reading this book called Letters to a Young Muslim by Omar Saif Ghobash. I borrowed it from my housemate. I was expecting more from that book, so in the end I was kinda left a bit unsatisfied. So please people, don’t put your expectations so high in a book until you read them k.

Well, to sum up generally, this book is written in a way that letters from a father to his son. The writer tell us about how his father who was an arab being killed by a terrorist when he was a six years old, and how he struggled with the traditional thinking of the arab world or muslim world in middle east, hiw he struggled with his identity as his mother is russian, and he posed some questions that young muslim as his son should not be worry to ask provocative questions even though it considers as taboo in the muslim community generally. There a lot of questions being thrown here and there but the writer didn’t give any answers, because it left to the readers to find it I guess.

I think because living in muslim community in Malaysia where we don’t really have problems for extremists here, and because the issues brought up in this book for me is nothing new from what I have read of, made me feel like this is just an ok book? But I read a several good reviews from others so I think it depends on individual, of course.

And soon after I finished reading this, I watched a movie called The Two Popes which I find it so entertaining. It inspired from a true story of how Pope Francis being elected as a Pope, but the dialogues between the two of them might be fictional. But I love their conversations! The issues brought up in the catholic community like the conservatives and Church reformer, are also the issues that the muslim community faced as well.

It’s on Netflix!