Sunday, May 10, 2020

New Normal

17 Ramadan.

I think MCO is already ended. The one that we need to practice is the "new normal" which are the social distancing, avoid crowded places etc. Conditional MCO or CMCO.

Tak boleh balik kampung beraya. Sobs.

But I already made peace with myself for that. Sis is redha. You don't want to risk your parents and family if you unknowingly are the carrier of the virus. 

I think I feel slightly better experiencing MCO during Ramadan. I don't feel as restless and emotional as the first few weeks of MCO. Maybe I already adapting to it, and I can control my sleep cycle already. Recently I busied myself doing things during the day, and then have something to wait at the end of the day made me excited, that is iftar. And then performed tarawih together with my housemates. Video call with family sometimes after that. And doing the Daily Ramadan Challenge.

Last night my friend send me videos and pictures from a travelling vlog. And I said, "You know, even next year there would be no way for us to travel outside of the country." And we huhu-ed together. Even looking at travel pictures make me feel sad so much. And she was "Okay, jangan kahwin dalam masa 2 tahun ni ya." Hahahaha yes travel buddy!

This year would be the first time celebrating eid without family.

Wednesday, May 6, 2020

Aku pun Mencari

Sudahku kembara
Benua ke benua untuk memuisikan-Nya;

Dari pelayaran Bosphorus
Kuhulurkan tangan
Merasa kawanan buih yang berloncatan,
Masuk dari pintu ke pintu Masjid Biru,
Terus legaran dari biara ke biara Aya Sofea.
Dia tak ada.

Ku amati kincir-kincir angin Kinderdijk
Luas lembah dan ladang tulip
Hingga berjalan sepanjang lorong hangat
Penjaja dosa
Dalam kedinginan bumi Belanda.
Dia tak ada.

Di suram malam tak berkandil
Ku susuri sirah Musa
Menghirup teh panas sepanjang Nil
Meredah halus debu sepanjang batuan
Piramid dan Giza.
Dia tak ada.

Kemudian aku pulang ke Kaabah
Menanyakan orang-orang kalau
Terjumpa,
Lalu berkelana dan menyendiri di Nabawi.
Dia tak ada.

Aku pun mencari ke dalam diri,
Dia tak ke mana-mana.
Aku menemukan-Nya di sini
               — bukan dengan mata.

Mosyuki Borhan, Mengintai Hadrat
Antologi Prosa & Puisi: Hujan Bakawali di Rumah Tuhan (Jilid I)
Terbitan Ripta (@rumahripta)
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