Wednesday, November 8, 2017

Too Good at Goodbyes

https://youtu.be/J_ub7Etch2U

You must think that I'm stupid
You must think that I'm a fool
You must think that I'm new to this
But I have seen this all before

I'm never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
'Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I'm never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt

But every time you hurt me, 
the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, 
the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out,
the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, 
it's sad but it's true

I'm way too good at goodbyes
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
I'm way too good at goodbyes
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

I know you're thinking I'm heartless
I know you're thinking I'm cold
I'm just protecting my innocence
I'm just protecting my soul

I'm never gonna let you close to me
Even though you mean the most to me
'Cause every time I open up, it hurts
So I'm never gonna get too close to you
Even when I mean the most to you
In case you go and leave me in the dirt

But every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true

I'm way too good at goodbyes
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
I'm way too good at goodbyes
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
No way that you'll see me cry
(No way that you'll see me cry)

I'm way too good at goodbyes
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
No
No, no, no, no, no
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
No, no, no, no
No, no, no
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)
(No way that you'll see me cry)
(I'm way too good at goodbyes)

'Cause every time you hurt me, the less that I cry
And every time you leave me, the quicker these tears dry
And every time you walk out, the less I love you
Baby, we don't stand a chance, it's sad but it's true
I'm way too good at goodbyes

Wednesday, November 1, 2017

One Chapter Completed

Alhamdulillah, I had just graduated on 29th October 2017. It marks a new beginning to the chapter of my life. Having a law degree, but still hesitate whether to practice as a lawyer or not. That's another story that I think will have another moment to share about.



Five years in law school, that comprises one year of foundation in law in UiTM Shah Alam and four years degree in UKM, teached me a lot of things. A bittersweet memories that i will clung into for the rest of my life, hopefully.

It is not a smooth journey for me. I can't remember why i chose law at the first place after SPM. Maybe because the fact that I was fascinated during our school visit to the Faculty of Law and Shariah in USIM back then. 

I love the foundation years in UiTM. Met a lot of lovely companions that teach me a lot of things about life. It made me realized that indeed I love to read law and decided to pursue my degree in it too. My aim was definitely either UM or UKM. But I strongly wants to pursue my study at UKM.

Unfortunately, during my second semester I failed on one subject; Introduction to Economy. It made my final results wouldn't be sent to the UPU system. However I still get the interview from UKM. My lecturer said that the interview was based on my first semester result, that's why my name was listed to the interview. But still, because my second semester result was being held, I would not get into any university that I applied on the UPU. 

I need to take up the preliminary exam to repeat my failed paper, but the highest grade they will give me was just a pass; C. If I want to get an A's, I need to extend a semester, which of course I did not chose the latter. And I can entered into uni in September, just the same as other friends but I can only pursue my study in UiTM.

I managed to pass the paper, it still made my core subjects cgpa to 3.67. As my lecturer warned earlier, when the UPU results came out, I didn't get an offer. Refused to listen to her, I appealed (rayuan) on the UPU, and guess what? I got an offer to pursue Law from UnisZa for second intake. It surprised me because my lecturer said even though I appealed through UPU, I still wouldn't get an offer from any uni.

On the side notes, at that time I applied for JPA and also send several letters to the Dean's Faculty of Law in UKM, UUM and also UniSZA for second intake. UniSZA told me that the offer was from the UPU, not because the letter that I send them.

During my last day of orientation at UniSZA, I felt a little forlorn, because at that time UniSZA's Law degree was not recognized by the LPQB, so I cannot practice to be a lawyer. 

At the last day of orientation, I got a call. Guess what? It's from Faculty of Law UKM!! I was so excited that I had been accepted for their second intake, just from the effort that I wrote an appeal formal letter to the dean, alhamdulillah.

And praise to Him too, that I also got a scholarship from JPA. I mean, I didn't even got a 4 flat for foundation, but alhamdulillah the rezeki was on me.

But yeah life was not all flowers and rainbows lol. As soon as I went to UKM, I'm quiet lost. It was so different from the foundation years. The lecturers were strict and not really approachable. And my friends from my foundation had already formed a group, that I'm not included in it because I was the second intake student; the timetable for the elective subjects and also tutorials were different. So we estranged. 

And yeah some of them even talked to my face that I managed to get into UKM because of a cable. They didn't trust the real story I told them then be it. Lol cable? My parents were a nobody, we didn't have connections here or anywhere.

At that time, I felt such a loss. I'm not interested to pursue law anymore. In fact, the things that we learned during foundation was like only 1/10 of the degree phase. 

And then I met my other foundation friend, but she's a Political Science 's student. We have this conversation about her course, and I even went to her replacement class one day at night, and I became interested. I decided to change my course into Political Science.

But yeah, unfortunately when the time came up to tell my father about my decision, (during my brother's wedding), my father proudly presented me to his friends as "future lawyer". I never thought that he was proud of me of the field that I chose to pursue. Because my father supports everything that I chose moderately.

So I decided to just bear with it, and hey during my second year of law school was not quite bad. It regained back my interest to read law. 

And yeah here I am now, alhamdulillah graduated with Bachelor of Laws with Honours. It's not a smooth journey, but hey it's worth it. Fight for what you want to do. Alas you will regret it.




Friday, October 13, 2017

Thursday, October 12, 2017

"sebab dia tak solat"

Recently I worked at this retail company (still is), under their CSR program for a certain period of months according to the contract. The employees while working were talking about this another employee, happened to be in her late 60s. One of them asked why was this 'Makcik' still working here, isn't there a limit of age in this company? Were her children did not take care of her?

Someone answered, that the Makcik while in tears begged to work here although according to the policy of the company, the limit of age is 61 years old. They pitied her, so they allowed an exception for her. So we're like, "Oh, really? Why her children did not take care of her, she's an old woman now, should just sit at home in the care of her children."

And suddenly I heard someone said this:

"As much I pitied her, I didn't blame her children for abandoning her. You know why? Because she didn't pray."

I was dumbfounded. At first I was like... what??? What is the correlation between you did not pray and your children neglect their own responsibilities towards the parents?

I'm a new employee, so I didn't know much about the characters of other employees here. As much as I disagree with that fallacy statement, I did not want to open up an argument. But then although after she said that everyone were still continued with our works, she still kept going saying,

"I did advice her to pray, but then she said 'Even if I pray, nothing will change'"

I don't like this kind of conversation. So I interrupted before she spilled out even more, I said "The fact that she didn't pray is between her and God. The fact that her child did not take care of her well-being is another matter altogether."

Then she replied, "Yes, it's true but it still affect because she didn't make a du'a for her children." And then another people agreed with her and I just kept my mouth shut. Thank God the topic ends there.



The fact that the children are irresponsible towards their parents have nothing to do with the fact that the parents believe in God or do not believe in God. Whether they pray or they do not pray. It's the matter of behavior, the selfishness or maybe anything that happened that we do not know nothing about. Maybe because they were economically struggling so it forced her to still working, or maybe because she just wants to work.

Faith is not something that can be forced to, everyone's exposure is different. Who are we to judge other people when we don't even wearing their shoes? 

  

Sunday, October 1, 2017

By myself

Salam & hi.

So... today marks my first day to live away from my family (on my own) because I'm renting out a room in an apartment around KL. Although before this for 5 years I'm already away from home to pursue my studies but today is different. 

It marks my journey as a first step towards independent. I got a temporary job before I start my chambering, and I'm gonna pay my rent on my own and all my livings on my own. No more dependent on my parents and sisters.

Fuh, cannot believe to say this but I'm looking forward for this new chapter of boring life 😂😂.


Hope that all is well, ameen.



Saturday, September 30, 2017

Bisik Pada Langit

Alkisahnya, semalam buat pertama kali jejakkan kaki di Paya Bunga Square (PBS) untuk menonton wayang bersama dengan kakak dan emak. PBS ni baru lagi dibuka di Terengganu, sebab tulah baru aja pergi. Ini pun kakak yang belanja tiket wayang dan emak ni kena buat ulasan bagi filem ni. Aku kalau ikutkan memang niat nak tengok filem ni sebab Kabir Bhatia sudah lama tak keluarkan filem baru, jadi bila Bisik Pada Langit sudah masuk panggung, memang rasa teruja.

Aku memang tak ikuti pun perkembangan drama atau filem-filem melayu, memang tak suka. Tapi bagi arahan Kabir Bhatia, sejak drama Nur Kasih, memang aku ikuti termasuklah filem Cinta dan Sepi. Sinematografinya cantik, barisan pelakon yang berbakat dan jalan cerita yang bagus, bukan tipikal filem melayu.

Jadi berbalik kepada Bisik Pada Langit...

[credit: Google]

Bagi aku filem ini membawa tema yang biasa dan jalan cerita yang biasa-biasa sahaja. Di mana, yang biasa itulah yang membuatkan para penonton boleh relate dengan cerita ini. Membawa tema kekeluargaan berkenaan dengan kasih sayang seorang ayah yang pilih kasih, adik yang iri, pengorbanan anak sulong dan anak perempuan yang membawa harapan keluarga.

Situasi sebegini memang berlaku dalam masyarakat, antara sebab yang penonton boleh memahami perasaan watak-watak di dalam kisah ini. Bab mengalir air mata tu tak payah cakaplah, memang emosi sangat dari awal sampai akhir. Apatah lagi aku ni jenis cengeng (bak kata kawan-kawan). Ada juga sedikit babak lucu yang boleh membuatkan penonton tergelak.

Apa yang aku dapat simpulkan daripada kisah ini, apabila sesuatu yang paling kita sayang itu ditarik balik, barulah kita sedar akan kepentingan sesuatu yang lain. Sesuatu yang diabaikan sebelum ini. Dan dalam kisah ini, sayangnya seorang ayah pada satu-satunya anak perempuannya, menyebabkan si ayah terlupa bahawa dia juga masih mempunyai dua orang lagi anak lelaki yang juga menagih kasih sayangnya.

Kisah biasa-biasa yang penuh emosi.

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